Missing

Dear universe,

Please bring my lover back to me. I left her somewhere rather clumsily, and I can't bear to be apart from her. The thing is, she knows all my secrets. She knows who I've loved, and who I've wanted. She knows the story about the french women, and all my nightmares.

She's going to tell everyone, and she can't help it. All they have to do is put their hand on her back, lay her down, and run their fingers across her body. I always try to keep her with me, or at least have a mental note of where she is. That way I'm not always worried about this happening. The one day that I'm so busy that I take her for granted, she scurries out from under my arm.

Even if she does come back, I don't think I'll feel the same about her. To know that she told the first person she could find everything. And I won't know what they found out unless they tell me. They very well could know it all, and when I come to pick her up they'll say, "Have a good one!" and let me leave with her. No questions. Maybe a smile and a wave.

Then later a heartfelt sympathetic e-mail from a stranger who wants to let me know that I can change my life if I want to. All I have to do is want to, and the world will explode in ponies and flowers. It's not that easy.

I probably shouldn't keep such loose company. But she was the only one that I had. Please come back. I won't be angry. I will forgive you.

With love,

A.L.