Thursday March 18, 2010

Contrasts 28/i365

Thursday March 18, 2010 (I love my neck)

Yesterday: outside, sun, dress, grass, music.

Today: inside, lightbulbs, jeans, plastic, music.

The difference 24 hours makes 38/365

Thursday March 18, 2010

I fell asleep last night on the couch in my clothes. I was writing postcards instead of writing that paper. I wrote them all to women I know, don't know, loved, and want to follow to Portland. I mailed the ones I had courage to mail today. Less than half.

To spite myself I had a dream about a queer girl who didn't accept herself. I was trying to help her, but I couldn't. I wish I could have, but I couldn't. I'm weary of people who keep calling me a lesbian. I should bike ride to Judith Butler's back porch to ask her opinion, but I realize that I am myself. I can decide things too.

I tell myself not to care, but I find myself caring a great deal. I think that's why I love flickr so much because I can see people who don't quite fit the gender norms. They give me confidence to be whoever I want to be. Be myself, dress up, believe in magic, break up, break down, and live my life.