14/i365 Twenties
Thursday March 4, 2010 I love that I'm growing up. Today I wrote out 20 lists of 20 things in honour of turning 20 soon. I made two copies, and I think I already know who I'm going to give them to. I got really into the project, and didn't really do much else today. I've been thinking about the Ani Difranco song, "My IQ". More or less spoken word poetry. But I really like it. I feel breakable and takable like this world I live in.
I'm starting to feel spring-like. I want to wear dresses and chase fragments of lovers down the street and downtown until they stop walking and the sun sets. I want to eject the feelings from the pit of my stomach, so I turn all this love, all this spring into things that aren't really productive in the real sense of productivity. Come back to me.
Thursday March 4, 2010
I think about all the things that make me who I am. The moments before and after and during this photo. Walking and joking about life, love, and art. Running into someone who knows more about me than I'm comfortable with them knowing. Who found out by accident and because I was nervous two months ago and answered every question they asked me about things I should have just nodded to.
But its ok now. We laugh and joke about things when we run into each other. He keeps me updated with how the kids in his neighbourhood are doing. Their skateboards and running around.
I wonder if I pick my friends well. If I've found what I search for, if I'm part of something, someone as much as they are part of me. Maybe I'm expendable, forgettable, and really not knowable. It's easier to say "I don't know" than to say I know a few things but not enough to make sense of them all.
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