Six years old, I was standing in the open front door with my mother behind me. It was a bright fall-like day, and we were at the old house. The house we were in before we moved four times. I was wearing red stockings, and a red and black plaid dress, and a red bow in my hair. It was after-school on picture day.
On the sidewalk closest to the house there was a group of boys from school that I knew. I wanted to go play with them, but I was embarrassed. I rushed past my mom and went into the house.
I said to her, "They'll see me in my dress!"
She said, "Well you wear dresses all the time to school, and those boys are in your class!"
They weren't wearing dresses. I didn't want to wear a dress anymore because I thought they would make fun of me. After that I didn't wear as many dresses. I was the kind of little girl who always wore dresses and bright coloured stockings. Who some might have speculated didn't even own a pair of pants that weren't floral patterned.
I have a strange relationship to dresses.
"You do like dresses don't you?" John asked me.
I wanted to say yes right away, but I didn't. I said yes anyways, but my more than ten years of barely dressed in dresses body wanted to say something else. Now I wear dresses a lot more than I used to. Mostly just this past year. Any kind of event, party. Long day, short day, going to work, going home. If I feel nervous, or if I have a presentation. Traveling, meeting my professor. It doesn't matter the occasion. I'll invent one, or just wear one for no reason.
I love it and hate it at the same time. I can't go to a show and not wear a dress. I feel awkward. I'm used to feeling confident in all of my clothes. I'm used to feeling confident in men's grey, brown, black, and green sweaters. Feeling confident in jeans and band t-shirts. It's as if that's not good enough for me anymore.
I have to dress up. I don't want to dress up. I don't want to feel like I'm dressing up for anything. I know that I'm an adult. I can wear whatever I want within reason, but I seem to be having a lot of stress over what would seem to be such a simple thing. I wish that clothes didn't mean anything sometimes.
I think that after wearing something that you enjoy more than what you used to wear (for whatever reason), that it feels less comfortable or less like you to rock your old style. I don't like wearing sweat pants, for example, and it's because I feel lazy or just like chilling when I wear them. I say, embrace your reacquainted love for dresses and related garb! Have fun with it. I don't think dressing up is being overdressed. The sense of different levels of formality in clothing have degraded to the point where people don't really know what they mean anymore. Bummish has become casual, casual has become business casual, business casual is now cocktail(?), and cocktail is now formal. Formal is nearly nonexistent. So... ignore the idea that you need to dress a certain way and that people may think poorly of you. I think people enjoy seeing other peeps having fun with their appearance or putting effort into it. Also, I think it's always better to be overdressed rather than underdressed, as long as you don't act like a douchebag. Cheers!
ReplyDelete...
ReplyDeleteDecide to make what you will of your clothes, not what you think others might make of them or what is generally thought about whatever clothing. Clothing does relate to identity and what others may perceive of you, but why worry about what other people are thinking, especially when you will probably never find out? Wreak havoc on mass perceptions!
Cheers!